An Idiot in Love (a laugh out loud comedy) by Jester David

Author:Jester, David [Jester, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Compulsion Books
Published: 2012-11-18T00:00:00+00:00

11

Melissa, Jessie and Everyone Else

I was still with Melissa a few months down the line, things were going well.

At the end of our unorthodox second date I took her back to my hastily tidied flat where we shared some insightful conversation over a couple of bottles of wine and then spent the night together. She stayed over for the rest of the weekend.

The following weekend we repeated the date, without the cold beach and awkward nudity.

For the first time in my adult life I had a girlfriend. I took her to meet my parents (who she loved) I brought her along to share a drink with Matthew (who she thought was insane) and I tried to spend as much of my free time with her as I could.

She was beautiful, funny, loveable, generous and sweet. She was everything I wanted, but after two months she began to transform.

It began on the night of our three month anniversary. I had noted the date on my calendar and had been planning for it all week. A quarter of a year, twelve weeks; it was a big deal.

I cleaned my flat and loaded it with candles and cushions I borrowed from my mother. When I had finished it looked like a feminine paradise. It was a little on the tacky side, the vibrant cushions juxtaposed against the bleak backdrop of the flat made it look like a schizophrenic had been allowed to redecorate his cell, but I was sure she would like it.

I played some soft classical music in the background; cooked a heavy pasta meal for two; bought in a few bottles of wine and laid a table in the centre of the flat, away from the corners where I had piled most of the junk that previously covered the flat.

I was riddled with nervous energy, unable to stand still or sit down. But Melissa was distant, from the moment I let her into the flat she was despondent.

I thought maybe I was imagining things, transferring the stress of a heavy day onto her. So I ignored my paranoia and pushed on with the night.

After sitting her down and offering her a bottle of wine, I gave her some of her presents: a large cuddly toy, a single rose and a box of chocolates. Then I sat down opposite her and watched as she cradled the objects awkwardly.

‘What’s all this for?’ she wondered.

I assumed she knew about the anniversary, how could she not? But she didn’t know I had planned all this in aid of it. She had been invited around on the rouse of ordering a pizza and watching a film, an event that had become almost daily over the last few weeks.

‘It’s a big night,’ I told her, staring deep into her eyes and not breaking contact when she looked away. ‘I wanted to make it special.’

We ate dinner in relative silence. I slopped creamy sauce down my top twice, the first time I disappeared to change my shirt, the second time I didn’t bother.

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